... here for your amusement ...

Friday, August 24, 2007

Parting is such sweet sorrow.....

Yesterday, I said "goodbye" to my dear friend, Jenni, and her family. They are leaving in a few days for sunny California... Bel Air to be exact. What's that all about? I went to give hugs and kisses to her children and pinch her one last time.

Let me talk a moment about my friend, Jenni. Jennifer Dawn as I like to call her.... She is no ordinary friend.
(See picture of her in Mexico on her first vacation without kids.)
Jenni is my friend who is raw and uncut. She's the "unrated" friend. I absolutely adore her. Is she the nicest person in the room? No. Is she the most sensitive? No. Does she make you double over in pain with her unpredictable, random, off the frickin' wall comments? Yes. Would she do anything for you if you needed her? Yes. Is she the first to offer practical "I'll make you a meal" help when you're sick and in bed? Yes...and it will be the best meal you ever eat! Jenni and I have broken through the "I'm fine" fake answer, fake smiles fecade and gotten in each other's dirt. She is my friend, for better, for worse and forever.

We've practically raised our children together. Her four, my four...one big pile 'o kids. We sure got a lot of looks when we went out together with our clans. We just smiled and kept walking while they were still counting....

I think that's one of the hardest parts of her leaving....that I won't get to see her kids grow up first hand anymore. Pictures are great, but there is nothing like having a front row seat to all their changes. I was thinking, next time I see them, her youngest, Jack, won't even know who I am! I practically birthed him!!! (Maybe a slight exaggeration..)

So, I'm sad. Tearfully sad.

My sadness is mixed with milk-squirting-out-your-nose laughter, because the memories of Jenni and her crew will keep me giggling for a lifetime.

Look out Bel Air....you have no idea what you are in for.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Hackers...who are these people?

Can someone please tell me what is up with "hackers?" I just don't get it. Recently, my "myspace" account was hacked into for the second time in a year and a half. The first time, they posted a "hot singles...click here" bulletin. I got a lot of very concerned responses from friends.....and some offers from strangers, but that is another story. This time, it was a ringtones download thing. I don't even know what that means.
I've been told that when this happens, you need to change your password because someone has "hacked into" your account.
Who in the world has the time to "hack into" anything? Seriously? What is their motive... is it a job? Is there a "hackers" section in the unemployment want adds???? Is it people who are bored and have nothing else to do? Because I can think of few things for them to occupy their time if they're looking for suggestions!
I just want to see a profile on these people. I need a visual. Until then, I've come up with my own guesses:
1. People who don't date
2. Anyone with more than 5 cats
3. Excessive sweaters
4. Wear socks with flip flops
5. Live in their parent's basement.... over the age of 35
6. Kids on break from band camp with nothing else to do until Spacecamp
I'm just asking for a demographic description. That's all... just give me a picture. I might hire them for something.... Because I can't seem to find the time to shave my legs...and they seem to have all the time in the world to tinker with the computer. Maybe they can teach me some time managment skills?
I'm open to suggestions. I want to learn. Help me.. help you. Anyone?

Monday, August 06, 2007


A couple weeks ago, I flew out to Bend, Oregon to climb Smith Rocks for an "It" Moms segment.

Ok.. there are a few really cool things about that last sentence:

1. "I flew out to Bend.." My super studly husband is a pilot, you see....which means I get to be chauffered around the skies playing "co-pilot" to my hottie. What would take hours by car, takes only minutes by plane..... And the view... the view is simply breathtaking! There is no better window seat from which to gaze out and take in our amazing state of Oregon. I am so spoiled!

2. Next part:"....to climb Smith Rocks." Ok, Smith Rocks are a world class climbing destination! There are over 1500 climbing routes in and around the park ranging from some of the best sport climbs in the world!! I've lived in Oregon my whole life, and have never had the pleasure of taking this challenge... I'm SO glad I finally got the opportunity to "tap the rock." Spoiled.

3. And the last cool part of that sentence is: "...for an "It" Moms segment." This will sound like bragging, I apologize.....but I just can't help it! I get to do the stinkin' coolest things for my job! I worked in an office, people. I suffered the creativity-sucking existence of a desk job for 6 years BK. I almost died. (that might be a slight exaggeration.....) But seriously, hanging off the side of a rock feels much more comfortable to me than filing papers and staring at a computer screen for hours. That....was scary.

Not only do I get to do the most amazing things as part of my "job" but I get to work with the most amazing team as well! Marni and Brian are the best co-workers a gal could ever hope to have. I am, again, very spoiled.

OH, and here's Brian flying the plane home....until I got freaked out and told Scott to take the controls back when it was time to land!

Our guide on the spectacular day was Jim Ablao, with Chockstone Climbing Guides! I know it's very cliche', but THIS GUY ROCKED! He was so good! He was skilled, patient, and calm. Good qualities in someone holding your life in his hands! And.... he laughed at our jokes. Bonus.

I lost my footing at one point and slipped.... I think I might have declared my love for him on accident. You know...a "thanks for not letting me fall to my death" kind of love.

What a day, what a memory. I recommend this guide, this rock, this adventure. Beats pushing papers any day!

Friday, August 03, 2007

She's WHAT??!!!!!

Many of you have inquired about Sparkle Tangerine.... It seems no one is really interested in my life, so here is the sad, shameful and TRUE story as the saga continues.....

Sparkle gave birth to her 6 kittens on Mother's Day. Much to our surprise (please read previous posts) inside my daughter's closet. We were able to find good homes for 5 of the kitties, and in a moment of weakness, my husband told Reilly she could keep one for her own pet.

Please say "hay" to Ashley Boo Boo Bottom Of The Wind Resnick! The chosen child of Sparkle's womb.

Ok, now fastforward to last week, when I took the two cats to the vet to have them.. uh hem...."taken care of..." You know, that special proceedure that keeps them from populating the neighborhood. Ok, first of all note that I said, "I took them to the vet." Uh... I don't have a vet, because I don't have pets....(I'm still in denial!) So, I called the "free clinic" and they gave me a coupon for a vet that honors the spay/neuter act or something like that. Yes.. because I am cheap...I wanted a deal.

Let me just say, stuffing a practically wild animal into a carrier was no easy task. Fur was flying....She used every available limb to ensure that the capture was impossible. I'm like shoving her head and her bum at the same time yelling at the girls to pry her claws off the side of the cage. Nice...I'm sure she really trusts me now.

We finally got her in, latched the door and placed her into the back of the car.I'm sweating, the kids are covered in hair, and Sparkle and Ashley are traumatized. Perfect state of mind for pre-op! Then...as if that wasn't bad enough, Sparkle busted out! In the car.... and I began screaming, "shut the door, don't let her out! Grab her leg.....contain the situation!!!!!!"

After wrestling with this poor FREAKED out cat for another 10 minutes... I won. Take down, 2 points... I needed a shot of something, but I won.

When we dropped off our little kittes I yelled after them, "Don't worry, Mommy bought you some kitty percoset, you'll be fine!" After all, I'm not heartless! I was told that the meds would last 5 days. I asked if I could have some. They said, "no."

When I went to pick them up that afternoon... a deep dred set in. I fearfully asked, "She couldn't be pregnant again, could she?" The doctor came strolling into the reception area right at that moment and he said, ever so casually, "Sparkle? 5 kittens."

"Hmmm... uh... pardon? What? Did you say she's IS pregnant!!!?????"

"5 Kittens." And then he was gone.....without a care of what he had just done to my life.

(Turning to Sparkle, I fell to the floor.) "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Sparkle! You HUSSY!! While I was watching your babies.. you were off trolling the hood again???!! Didn't we talk about this? Have you learned NOTHING???"

She looked at me, stoned out of her mind on percoset and drooled. Apparnetly not.

SO..........Once again...... Anyone want a free kitten? Or 5?

Call me.